Monday, March 10, 2014

The Potholes in the Road

Life is full of bumps in the road; mine however, seems to be filled with potholes. As soon as one pothole gets patched, another storm brings new ones.

I have posted numerous times on our Facebook page how I have been suffering from this horrific back/hip pain. It’s more like the back of my hip, my pelvis, which has a stabbing pain in it just about every single second of the day with little to no comfort. I have endured the pain, not taking pain meds because they make me loopy. I simply cannot afford to be out of it while being a full time mommy and wife. I started seeing a great orthopedic doctor who seemed to generally be interested in helping me. First, he wanted to pinpoint my pain with a MRI of my pelvis. That MRI was the absolute worst non-invasive testing I have had done. The test itself was about 45 minutes long, and I had to lay with my arms above my head on a hard table in an itsy-bitsy tube. Halfway through I became desperately sick because my arms had started to hurt tremendously. I am stuck in this tube that I barely fit in and it is in that moment that even though I am not, I feel myself becoming claustrophobic. I just kept singing in my head “This girl is on fire . . .” The song empowers me. Needless to say I was elated to be done with that test and never once gave a thought to the reason my prescription said I was there: “To rule out Metastatic Disease”.

I figured today when I went in to have my results read I would be leaving with an answer besides the one I received. There are new lesions in my iliac crest (pelvis). Sigh. These are not previously noted on any scans, giving the reason to suspect the cancer has progressed. This is the reason for my pain. The lesions are exactly where my pain radiates. There is nothing my orthopedic doctor can really do for me now. He ordered some PT (physical therapy) in hopes to desensitize the area so I am not in constant pain. I have an appointment scheduled with my Oncologist on Thursday to discuss these new findings. I know it’s selfish but I seriously just don’t want to go back on chemo. I just feel like I am starting to feel “myself” again. I started losing weight, I have hair again, and my life doesn't revolve around chemotherapy and doctor’s appointments every week. I am ready for this pothole to be patched up. Do you think I could tweet Pittsburgh’s 311 Service to take care of this? Augh, I didn't think so.

James 1:12 
Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.


  1. We just need to repave that road your on and be done with it! Oh, sweetie, I hope with all my heart that this thing can be beat too and this is the last of any potholes ... (((HUG)))

  2. I know I dont feel your pain but I will keep you in my heart and prayers. Your clearly a strong woman and mother. I know there is a purpose in this painful season. So keep your chin up and ill be sure to send a message to my froends to keep you amd your family in prayer. As I was reading your story I heard this scripture ring in my thoughts . .. God bless 1 John 5:14-15 NLT

    And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for.